when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
