This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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