Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
