She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
