Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I smell stomach acid.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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