what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
