You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
