Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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