i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
