Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
