he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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