i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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