Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize