i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
