I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
