Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize