Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
