why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
