So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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