So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so let's talk penis.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
