Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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