And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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