oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
