hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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