hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize