How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
