We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
In America we eat man semen.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize