all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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