apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize