If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
