he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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