You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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