I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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