don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
