Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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