so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
