Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
