loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
