In the future we'll all be gay
its not stalking. its research.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
