What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
