Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I love you. Go after that dick
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
