Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
