my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just found puke in my bra..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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