I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
