Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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