There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
