This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Randomize
