Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
