This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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