Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
