I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
