That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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