I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
