Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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