my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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