how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
