I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
