I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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