First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
