Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize