bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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