I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
