Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
