I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
