i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
