what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
