I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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