it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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