The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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