the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't think brook has ever known best
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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