Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
